Thursday 15 November 2012

Italian Antidotes

I have just spent twenty-four hours without coffee or tea and I have to, reluctantly, admit
that I am unable to function without the two things.

Having submitted to this penance, I was then forced to leave the house at seven fifteen in the morning and report to the basement of my local hospital, in order to be injected with radioactive isotopes and lie extremely still inside a machine for lengthy periods.

Luckily, my reward came at the very end of proceedings, when a technician told me that the best way to get radioactive isotopes out of your blood really quickly is to eat lots of hot chips (something to do with fat and the gall bladder - I didn't enquire too closely: as with all attractive health tips [eg drinking red wine is good for you], I simply accepted the advice and followed it to the letter [meanwhile I take no notice of warnings that are dull, such as 'you should eat green vegetables' and 'you should run very fast up hills'])

So here I am, sitting on the verandah in the late afternoon, eating chips bought from the shop and then refried in beef fat, watching stupid Italian YouTube videos (my youngest daughter's offering in the rapid blood cleansing department - videography, apparently, a new branch of medicine).

The chips plus the idiotic joy of clips like these two almost make the hours of medical tedium and caffeine deprivation worthwhile:




10 comments:

  1. I...that...it's... What the...

    That first video just became an exercise in my creative writing class for today: What's the story-line of this video?

    Well, at the very least, now I know what Fred Gwynn was up to between THE MUNSTERS and MY COUSIN VINNY.

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    1. With your surname, I'm assuming you understand what she's saying?

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    2. ... though, you might find it amusing to know that my last name means "matress." But that's not the amusing part, so don't be amused yet. The truly amusing part is that my sister's name is Gina, which means "queen." She is "Queen Matress."

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    3. "Mattress" -- sorry. Tired. Two t's.

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    4. Ha ha - and you actually have two words (or one and a half)

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  2. I shall be recording the second clip for the Steerforth Christmas party - wonderful stuff.

    I hope the radioactive isotopes result in nothing except some new special powers.

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    Replies
    1. Yay, special powers - it's just part of a barrage of workups for a possible kidney donation to a sick relative. I'd have handed one over months ago if it weren't for all the tortures they insist on putting you through first.

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  3. Coincidentally I had what I think was an analogous experience in yesterday flying business class after a number of recent occasions when I slummed it in economy. I can't recall relishing the luxurious comfort of the experience so much. Truly to appreciate pleasure and comfort, do we regularly need to remind ourselves of their opposites? I think the answer is yes.

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    Replies
    1. I would prefer to appreciate nothing if it means spending the day the way I did yesterday again.

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